This is a backlog post! That means it's not fancy with pictures and stuff like my other posts, just here for reference. A lot of these products are discontinued.
These were part of a bundle of Alkemia perfumes I purchased secondhand from another IMAMer. Enjoy!
Repartee
"A flirtatious zing of mandarin, a bon mot of yuzu, and a unisexy double entendre of lemon and grapefruit blossoms are followed by a zesty riposte of bitter orange, verbena, ginger root tea, sasparilla, oak moss, and wormwood."
Me: In bottle: Masculine. There's some woodsy, incense-y stuff going on. On my skin: Cologne. Dark, slightly leathery, slightly headache inducing.
Bf: In bottle: Smells like industrial janitor cleaning supplies. Burns, dude. On my skin: *burps* Eughh. Is it bad if they all smell the same??
RM: In bottle: Oh. It smells like cologne. It's for men. And an herb. AND pine-sol. On her skin: It just smells like pine-sol cologne.
Ardere
"A smoulderingly sultry blend of smoked red amber, tonka bean, aged Bourbon vanilla, charred oak wood, and a piquant blend of Silk Road spices."
Me: In bottle: Smells like the inside of a Chinese medicine apothecary. On my skin: Okay yeah, it smells like I just stuck my nose inside of a drawer of Chinese herbs. Smokey, dark, herby, yuckkkk.
Bf: In bottle: I think the french fries on my fingers is interfering with the smell. I'm just going to read the label and tell you what it is. Fuck, it doesn't have ingredients. I don't know, man. It's weird. It's like, someone's house. You know, like, everyone has that friend whose house smells kinda funky. On my skin: Smells like my neighbor across the street. Which is like a mixture of cigarette smoke and white people perfume, if that makes sense.
RM: In bottle: I have no clue. Oh, it just smells like a Chinese herb.
Vamp
"This perfume is an homage to the steamier side of the Roaring Twenties - a darkly erotic blend of opium, labdanum, Tonka, balsam, sueded leather, and black musk."
Me: In bottle: Herby, warm, and smokey. Whoah. This one is interesting. On my skin: Smells like rubber. Like we just entered the bicycle part of Target.
Bf: In bottle: I feel like you keep passing me the same set of two because they all sound the same! (Us: smell the same?) Smell the same. You guys are dicks. On my skin: smells like old Japanese people, like my grandma's house.
RM: In bottle: This is a one that smells like Neutrogena Rainbath that I have as my shower gel. Which I'm not opposed to at all, cuz it smells like a Chinese herb that I like. On her skin: Oh, definitely Neutrogena Rainbath.
Calliope
"A beguiling divertissement of piquant clementine, orange blossoms, white orchid, sugared currants, tonka, and vanilla musk whirled with flirtatious teases of billowy cotton candy floss and kisses of saltwater taffy."
Me: In bottle: It vaguely smells like a sweet, floral perfume. There's something a little sour cream about it, though. On my skin: No more sour cream! It smells decent, not too floral and not too sweet. Ephemeral and light. Doesn't last very long, though. It's already starting to fade.
Bf: In bottle: Smells kinda like candy and flowers. *Smacks lips* If I had to choose one of your perfumes to drink, it'd be this one. On my skin: It's like dirty cotton candy.
RM: In bottle: No! It smells too much like flowers to drink. I would choose, like, that Black Violet one that smells like my childhood (Lilikoi). I like the smell of it, except for the fact that it might be too powdery cream for my taste. I like the middle note a lot. On her skin: Ooh, I like it on my skin. The powdery whatever is semi-gone. I like. I smell none of the candy and all of the flower.
The Mist Becoming Rain
"Rainwater, mist drenched hazel wood, meadow grasses, sage blooms, orris root, ozone, grey amber. Deep, dark, cool and mysterious."
Me: In bottle: Warm, masculine, cut grass, and juniper! It smells awesome. On my skin: Nurr, the soft masculine smell is gone, and now it's just muddled greens. The greens get deeper and more resinous as time goes on. The nice thing is that from close up, it's not great, but from far away it's got this nice, masculine cologne-y scent. Wish it smelled more like rain, though. Lasted 6+ hours.
Bf: In bottle: Spray paint with sharpie zest. I'm going to need some milk to wash this out of my system.
RM: In bottle: I hate this one. Mostly because it has new car smell mixed in with, like, a fern. It's like your new car started giving birth to, like, ferns. Ew! Yeah. On her skin: Now it smells like sofas and ferns.
Les Mysteres
"Les Mystères is an opulent, resinous blend of aged frankincense, black figs, labdanum, dark amber, Russian tea, swirled with a trio of sensual musks."
Me: In bottle: Typical floral perfume. I feel like I've smelled this in another indie at some point. On my skin: Musky, green, and floral. Strong to the point of gag-inducing. After dry, it's still kind of musky and floral, though the greenness fades. A couple hours later, it's a warm, almost woody floral that smells quite a bit more like a floral version of The Mist Becoming Rain. Lasted 6+ hours.
Bf: In bottle: This is going to sound really weird, but this smells like the unit step function that we're learning about. Because it starts off as something, but then turns into something else all flat! If that makes sense. It's like smell... and then it's like BAM! different smell! As you inhale it. On my skin: Porta-potty. Clean Porta-potty. Like, Porta-potty after you put the cleaner in it.
RM: In bottle: It smells like you walked into an herb shop and a cologne shop at the same time. Like one of those heavily dude-ish dudes, like suntan surfer dudes with cologne wearing oxfords, you know, and they are managing an apothecary. On my skin: It's a pretty robust smell. I'm not for it or against it.
Incendere
"Fiery red carnations, incendiary dianthus, erotically hot spices, a touch of burning incense, and a hypnotic splash of bay rum."
Me: In bottle: *Cough* It smells like hand soap and sushi rice. On my skin: it smells just like a hotel room. I kind of get the cinnamon, but it's like a cold cinnamon, not a hot cinnamon. Kind of sour, soap cinnamon. Thats what the sushi rice turned into, anyways.
Bf: In bottle: This one reminds me of... you know how moms carry around diaper bags? It smells like the inside of the diaper bag. I don't know; maybe I have wipes on my mind. You know that cream that mom's put on babies butts? It's like white. And it's a cream. But it's like, too strong to be put in a baby product. Not gonna lie, all of these smell really similar. If not the same. They could probably just trick a lot of people by putting the same thing into different bottles and different labels. On my skin: ....Cinnamon? I dunno.
RM: In bottle: Cinnamon. Just, liquid cinnamon. And like. Sofa. It's like pot-pourri! On her skin: It's warmer! It makes the cinnamon come out when it's on your skin; that's nice. It smells like menthol now
Ghost Fire
"A hauntingly beautiful blend of white ambers flickers like ethereal fire. The exquisitely unworldly ones draw close to revel in its strange and luminous sweetness."
Me: In bottle: This one smells a little bit like cucumbers. On my skin: Buttery wood and cucumbers. It's kind of dusty smelling, wow. This one is weird. Haha, apart from the dustiness that happens if I get too close, I kind of like it! I like smelling like buttery wood cukes. Wow that sounded wrong.
Bf: In bottle: This one's called Ghost Fire. I don't know why they called it that. It's really weird, because I think I can only smell it in one of my nostrils even though both of them are open, and it's making that side of my brain hurt. Take it away! On my skin: Smells like my body wash. (Me: It's the cucumber Dove one!)
RM: In bottle: Oh. I kinda like it, cuz it's a lighter fragrance. It's fruity, powdery, and a little bit buttery. On her skin: Yeah! I'm a fan. It just smells like coconut oil. Honestly. Ahah! Cucumbers. That's what it is. That's why it smelled parabolic. Cucumbers and cocoa butter.
These were part of a bundle of Alkemia perfumes I purchased secondhand from another IMAMer. Enjoy!
Repartee
"A flirtatious zing of mandarin, a bon mot of yuzu, and a unisexy double entendre of lemon and grapefruit blossoms are followed by a zesty riposte of bitter orange, verbena, ginger root tea, sasparilla, oak moss, and wormwood."
Me: In bottle: Masculine. There's some woodsy, incense-y stuff going on. On my skin: Cologne. Dark, slightly leathery, slightly headache inducing.
Bf: In bottle: Smells like industrial janitor cleaning supplies. Burns, dude. On my skin: *burps* Eughh. Is it bad if they all smell the same??
RM: In bottle: Oh. It smells like cologne. It's for men. And an herb. AND pine-sol. On her skin: It just smells like pine-sol cologne.
Ardere
"A smoulderingly sultry blend of smoked red amber, tonka bean, aged Bourbon vanilla, charred oak wood, and a piquant blend of Silk Road spices."
Me: In bottle: Smells like the inside of a Chinese medicine apothecary. On my skin: Okay yeah, it smells like I just stuck my nose inside of a drawer of Chinese herbs. Smokey, dark, herby, yuckkkk.
Bf: In bottle: I think the french fries on my fingers is interfering with the smell. I'm just going to read the label and tell you what it is. Fuck, it doesn't have ingredients. I don't know, man. It's weird. It's like, someone's house. You know, like, everyone has that friend whose house smells kinda funky. On my skin: Smells like my neighbor across the street. Which is like a mixture of cigarette smoke and white people perfume, if that makes sense.
RM: In bottle: I have no clue. Oh, it just smells like a Chinese herb.
Vamp
"This perfume is an homage to the steamier side of the Roaring Twenties - a darkly erotic blend of opium, labdanum, Tonka, balsam, sueded leather, and black musk."
Me: In bottle: Herby, warm, and smokey. Whoah. This one is interesting. On my skin: Smells like rubber. Like we just entered the bicycle part of Target.
Bf: In bottle: I feel like you keep passing me the same set of two because they all sound the same! (Us: smell the same?) Smell the same. You guys are dicks. On my skin: smells like old Japanese people, like my grandma's house.
RM: In bottle: This is a one that smells like Neutrogena Rainbath that I have as my shower gel. Which I'm not opposed to at all, cuz it smells like a Chinese herb that I like. On her skin: Oh, definitely Neutrogena Rainbath.
Calliope
"A beguiling divertissement of piquant clementine, orange blossoms, white orchid, sugared currants, tonka, and vanilla musk whirled with flirtatious teases of billowy cotton candy floss and kisses of saltwater taffy."
Me: In bottle: It vaguely smells like a sweet, floral perfume. There's something a little sour cream about it, though. On my skin: No more sour cream! It smells decent, not too floral and not too sweet. Ephemeral and light. Doesn't last very long, though. It's already starting to fade.
Bf: In bottle: Smells kinda like candy and flowers. *Smacks lips* If I had to choose one of your perfumes to drink, it'd be this one. On my skin: It's like dirty cotton candy.
RM: In bottle: No! It smells too much like flowers to drink. I would choose, like, that Black Violet one that smells like my childhood (Lilikoi). I like the smell of it, except for the fact that it might be too powdery cream for my taste. I like the middle note a lot. On her skin: Ooh, I like it on my skin. The powdery whatever is semi-gone. I like. I smell none of the candy and all of the flower.
The Mist Becoming Rain
"Rainwater, mist drenched hazel wood, meadow grasses, sage blooms, orris root, ozone, grey amber. Deep, dark, cool and mysterious."
Me: In bottle: Warm, masculine, cut grass, and juniper! It smells awesome. On my skin: Nurr, the soft masculine smell is gone, and now it's just muddled greens. The greens get deeper and more resinous as time goes on. The nice thing is that from close up, it's not great, but from far away it's got this nice, masculine cologne-y scent. Wish it smelled more like rain, though. Lasted 6+ hours.
Bf: In bottle: Spray paint with sharpie zest. I'm going to need some milk to wash this out of my system.
RM: In bottle: I hate this one. Mostly because it has new car smell mixed in with, like, a fern. It's like your new car started giving birth to, like, ferns. Ew! Yeah. On her skin: Now it smells like sofas and ferns.
Les Mysteres
"Les Mystères is an opulent, resinous blend of aged frankincense, black figs, labdanum, dark amber, Russian tea, swirled with a trio of sensual musks."
Me: In bottle: Typical floral perfume. I feel like I've smelled this in another indie at some point. On my skin: Musky, green, and floral. Strong to the point of gag-inducing. After dry, it's still kind of musky and floral, though the greenness fades. A couple hours later, it's a warm, almost woody floral that smells quite a bit more like a floral version of The Mist Becoming Rain. Lasted 6+ hours.
Bf: In bottle: This is going to sound really weird, but this smells like the unit step function that we're learning about. Because it starts off as something, but then turns into something else all flat! If that makes sense. It's like smell... and then it's like BAM! different smell! As you inhale it. On my skin: Porta-potty. Clean Porta-potty. Like, Porta-potty after you put the cleaner in it.
RM: In bottle: It smells like you walked into an herb shop and a cologne shop at the same time. Like one of those heavily dude-ish dudes, like suntan surfer dudes with cologne wearing oxfords, you know, and they are managing an apothecary. On my skin: It's a pretty robust smell. I'm not for it or against it.
Incendere
"Fiery red carnations, incendiary dianthus, erotically hot spices, a touch of burning incense, and a hypnotic splash of bay rum."
Me: In bottle: *Cough* It smells like hand soap and sushi rice. On my skin: it smells just like a hotel room. I kind of get the cinnamon, but it's like a cold cinnamon, not a hot cinnamon. Kind of sour, soap cinnamon. Thats what the sushi rice turned into, anyways.
Bf: In bottle: This one reminds me of... you know how moms carry around diaper bags? It smells like the inside of the diaper bag. I don't know; maybe I have wipes on my mind. You know that cream that mom's put on babies butts? It's like white. And it's a cream. But it's like, too strong to be put in a baby product. Not gonna lie, all of these smell really similar. If not the same. They could probably just trick a lot of people by putting the same thing into different bottles and different labels. On my skin: ....Cinnamon? I dunno.
RM: In bottle: Cinnamon. Just, liquid cinnamon. And like. Sofa. It's like pot-pourri! On her skin: It's warmer! It makes the cinnamon come out when it's on your skin; that's nice. It smells like menthol now
Ghost Fire
"A hauntingly beautiful blend of white ambers flickers like ethereal fire. The exquisitely unworldly ones draw close to revel in its strange and luminous sweetness."
Me: In bottle: This one smells a little bit like cucumbers. On my skin: Buttery wood and cucumbers. It's kind of dusty smelling, wow. This one is weird. Haha, apart from the dustiness that happens if I get too close, I kind of like it! I like smelling like buttery wood cukes. Wow that sounded wrong.
Bf: In bottle: This one's called Ghost Fire. I don't know why they called it that. It's really weird, because I think I can only smell it in one of my nostrils even though both of them are open, and it's making that side of my brain hurt. Take it away! On my skin: Smells like my body wash. (Me: It's the cucumber Dove one!)
RM: In bottle: Oh. I kinda like it, cuz it's a lighter fragrance. It's fruity, powdery, and a little bit buttery. On her skin: Yeah! I'm a fan. It just smells like coconut oil. Honestly. Ahah! Cucumbers. That's what it is. That's why it smelled parabolic. Cucumbers and cocoa butter.
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